Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
