At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
