need another drink. this is the easiest way
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
