recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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