My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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