im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
