Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
