oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
