Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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