Your tits are I can't wait for
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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