HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
