the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
