She is in my trunk
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
