im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
