I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
