I want to have your abortion
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
