first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
