I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
