I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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