Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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