Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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