I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
