Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
