She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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