I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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