We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
