not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
