Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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