Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
