Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
