i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
