Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
