It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We were destined to go to rehab together
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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