i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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