What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
