My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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