real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
