party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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