Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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