It's Friday. Sex?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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