I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
