oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
