Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
