He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
