dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
