I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
