he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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