At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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