I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
