Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
