So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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