Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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