do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
